The Parish Church is at the very heart of the community, journeying with families and individuals as they progress through the various stages of life. At times, it may seem as though it is on the periphery of people's lives, with very little contact on a day to day basis; but on other occasions, it is very much at the centre of life as families plan and celebrate those very important events.
Death and arranging funerals of loved ones is not a subject that we tend to give much attention to in the normal course of things. We know that it will come our way some day in the future but we don't want to dwell on it now.
This page is designed to help those who have the responsibility of planning the funeral of a loved one.
Our Christian faith proclaims that death is not the end and yet it is a very definite ending in many ways. Because our loved one has died, it means that we will no longer be able to talk to them, laugh with them, do the normal everyday things with them that we take so much for granted. Because it is such a definite ending in our physical relationship with the person, their death does leave a great emptiness and void and fills us with all kinds of emotions and stress.
The death of a loved one is an unique experience for his or her family as every person is an unique individual. For some, death is not unexpected as it comes at the close of a long life or the result of a long illness. Indeed, in many circumstances, death is a welcome relief as it ends the pain and suffering experienced both by the dying person and the loving family who have had to stand helplessly by. For others, death is a cruel blow that wipes out the life of a loved one suddenly and even brutally. In such circumstances, nothing can prepares us for this and effect on family members can be very devastating, filling them with feelings of anger and disbelief that such a thing could be allowed to happen by a loving God.
There is no easy answer in all of this for death raises more questions than it answers. Indeed some questions will remain unanswered this side of death.
Deep within the human heart there is a longing that death is not the final moment of our existence. There are those who believe that it is. However, the overwhelming evidence of human experience, crossing many cultures and belief systems, from the beginning of time as we know it until the present day, gives witness to the reality that death is not the ultimate end of our existence.
For the Christian community, this longing finds its ultimate fulfilment in the person of Jesus Christ who is Lord both of the living and those who have died. Listen to the word of God in St Peter's Letter to the Church:
- "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! By his great mercy he has given us a new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who are being protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, even if now for a little while you have had to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith--being more precious than gold that, though perishable, is tested by fire--may be found to result in praise and glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed.[ 1 Peter 1:3-7]
It is not appropriate for the church to recommend a particular Funeral Director. All the Funeral Directors that we work with are very respectful and competent.
It is helpful if you have some idea of what type of Service you require before contacting a Director, especially if you wish to have a Service in the church. This enables the Director to factor in sufficient time to meet your needs on the day.
Counselling
The death of a loved one can be a very stressful time, even traumatic, and effects different people in different ways.
Grieving is a very important part of the healing process as we seek to come to terms with our loss and possible unresolved issues. Many people begin the grieving process at or soon after the time of death. For others, it can be much later which often causes confusion and disorientation.
Obtaining help with the grieving process is a very good thing to do and should not be seen as weakness.
Visit our Counselling page to learn more about our
St Teilo's is the Parish Church for Caereithin and any family living within the parish is entitled to have the Funeral Service for their loved one in the church. The Parish Church is here to serve the whole community.
What are the advantages of using St Teilo's for the Funeral Service?
The church is local which means that many of the community can easily get to the Service in order to pay their respects and show their support. Also, the church can seat a very large congregation.
There is no pressure of time. Today, the Crematorium only allows approximately 20 minutes for the actual Service whereas there is no limit for the Church Service.
Because there is no pressure of time, the family have the opportunity to meet with those members of the community and neighbours who are present to pay their respects and to thank them for being at the Service. This time can be planned into the Service before leaving for the Crematorium or the cemetery.
How much does a Church Service cost?
Normally there is a charge of £40 pounds for the use of the church. However, the Vicar has the authority to reduce this or waive it altogether if the economic circumstances of the family require it.
What kind of Service will it be?
While the Church Service follows a format that is laid down by the Church in Wales nonetheless there is ample flexibility to meet the reasonable requests of the family so that the Service reflects the life and love of the deceased.
Usually there will be one or two hymns of the family choice along with Bible readings that are important to our Christian faith and belief about the Resurrection.
There is room for other readings and pieces of music provided that they are respectful of the Christian faith and do not include language that would not be appropriate.
It is also appropriate for a member of the family or a friend to say a few words about the deceased so as to make it more personal for the family. This should be agreed with the Vicar before hand.
The Vicar will meet with the family in good time before the day of the Funeral Service so as to discuss all of the above and to plan the Service with the family. He will do all in his power to meet the reasonable requests of the family so that the Service reflects their love and emotions at this sad time of loss and bereavement.
Will there be another Service if it is a cremation?
If the person is to be cremated then there will need to be a Service of Committal at the Crematorium. This is similar to the Burial Service at the graveside and lasts about 10 minutes. Often families wish to have this as a private Service when there already has been a Service in the church.
Book Of Remembrance
All the Funeral Services that take place in St Teilo's are important to the congregation. Therefore the name of the deceased will be entered in our Book of Remembrance. The Book will be open at their name on the date of their Anniversary of Death and prayed for along with their family. Family members are very welcome to come to the church on or near the anniversary and place flowers on the Remembrance Table and light a candle.
Each year, on the 2nd November - All Souls Day - all who have died during the past year will be remmbered at a special Remembrance Service in the church. Families will be notified beforehand and invited to attend.
